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So, I cheated and pulled this one out of the photo vault; but I have to admit that the days I don't use a "new" photo, I have the best time going through our older family photos. As a kid, I could flip through albums of photos for hours. This is the 21st equivalent, I guess :) This photo was taken at the Wright Brothers Memorial in Kitty Hawk, NC on a day trip that we took as a family to the Outer Banks. We made it to the top of the memorial and just enjoyed the breathtaking view of the island and water. David, apparently excited about all the talk about airplanes, took off on his own flight. I have always loved this photo and the sense of wonder and possibility that it invokes for me.

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I'm doing lots of thinking lately, which can be dangerous and scary. I can't pinpoint anything that's led to this pontificating mood, but I do think of a few dad-isms that I can't help but to recall.
1) Don't let the rabbits get to you or the elephants will kill you. There have been lots of times when I've asked myself which category my dilemma would fall into, and there have been times that my "rabbits" reminded me of those in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
2) Personal best is what matters most. John Wooden has always been one of my dad's heroes, and as I get older, I find that I turn to his words more and more. If you haven't read anything by Coach Wooden, I recommend that you put your hands on anything of his right away.
3) Ice cream make everything better. Tonight it was a single scoop of Muddy Sneakers from Scoops and some time on the waterfront benches with my boys. Luckily, that was all it took!
There are many more, including true stories and true stories that he made up, and I am positive that you will be privileged to hear more someday soon!

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Finding my happy place...

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Today is Mother's Day. I can't think of a more challenging, rewarding or daunting role that I could ever play in my life. I am thankful to have a wonderful mother for a role model and guide. I am also blessed to have 2 amazing grandmothers and numerous aunts, friends and family members who have shown me countless ways to love, cherish and live life as a mommy to the fullest. I am blessed that God picked me to be David & Tyler's mom!

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So, today I'm thinking of a bit more somber period of the boys' first weeks. They were born on a Tuesday morning, and by Friday morning they had held Tyler and I for about as long as they could. It was time for us to go home. But, David was still in the NICU. Those 7 days between us leaving the hospital and David joining us at home were excruciating. We were back and forth between home and the hospital, and because children weren't allowed in the NICU, we couldn't be together as a whole family. If I was at the hospital with David, I felt bad for leaving Tyler with my mom. If I was at home with Tyler, I agonized over the fact that I wasn't with David. Our first Mothers Day was spent going back and forth between home and the hospital. Visiting the NICU was a painful process for me. It was terrible having to watch David, not being able to hold him because he was hooked up to so many monitors and IVs. It was also very emotional to see other moms and dads keeping vigil over their sweet pre-mature babies who were only one and two pounds. I struggled with a lot of emotions that week, one of which was guilt because David was ok. He was there are a pre-caution, while other babies were fighting for their lives. It was definitely bittersweet for us. We are thankful to the NICU staff of New Hanover Regional Medical, and we always will be. We are so truly blessed!

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This week has been a fun time to record some of our memories of the boys' first days. But David hasn't always been as relaxed as he is shown in today's picture.

As I've said, the boys were 6 1/2 weeks early. While most of a baby's development is complete around that time, the lungs are the last to fully develop. The doctors were concerned about the boys' lung capacity and functioning, so they gave me a steroid shot while the boys were still inside, hoping that would help boost their last bit of development. Apparently, Tyler (who was stretched out with his head below my pelvis and feet under my heart) got it all. David (curled up in a bowling ball by Tyler's feet) didn't get the boost he needed. After 30 minutes in the delivery room with at least 15 members of hospital personnel, the boys were on their way to the nursery with feeding tubes in place. Tyler was having none of that, and at a feisty 4 lb 12 oz, had pulled his out within an hour. David, at 5 lb 4 oz, was doing fine, but the doctors decided to send him up to the NICU for a bit to see if they could get his lungs functioning at 100%. Yeah, he didn't really like all that poking and prodding. Within 24 hours, he had pulled out his IVs and tubes so many times that they had him in a tshirt that was pinned down to the mattress and on a morphine drip to keep him calm. It didn't take long for all the NICU doctors and nurses to learn his name! We were afraid of what might be to come!